Wednesday, March 23, 2011

Accepting The Inevitable



Residents and their families at any of the Central Wisconsin Senior Living properties may not know the names of every staff member but without a doubt, they all know Lori Schuler. 

Masquerading as the Marketing & Activities Director who, in the blink of an eye (or is that a twitch of her nose?) morphs into one of several persona's. Most recently, Lori was no where to be found after she met Lady Luck at the airport fresh from a trans-Atlantic flight from Ireland, making sure Lady Luck arrived just in time for the St. Patrick's Day party at North Haven Assisted Living Home.

It would stand to reason that as deep as Lori's feelings are for the senior residents she has come to know and love, the sorrow and sadness she feels, facing the death of those she cares for, has affected her on a very personal level. Lori recently shared her thoughts in an essay she wrote and published in the Stevens Point Journal, appearing in the March 12, 2011, edition.

We are pleased to share Lori's story with our friends and family and hope you find comfort in her words.

Is there a particular story, favorite quote or thought that has helped you get through a time of grief that you would like to share?




After working with seniors at assisted living homes for the last nine years one thing that I have had to understand is that death is a natural part of the cycle of life and one day we must all come to terms with it. 

When I dealt with my first loss of a resident I was not sure if I could handle the pain I felt in my heart and continue to work in this field caring so deeply for the loved one that family and friends entrust in our hands.  I remember Barbara, a very intelligent woman; at 80 plus years she knew more about technology than I did.  With her heart condition, she understood that the quality of her life would not be the way she would want to live.  Barbara decided to have surgery understanding she had a 50% chance to survive this surgery.  Barbara did not survive. 

I turned to my good friend Jane to help comfort me with my loss.  She told me this story - There was a little boy that wanted a horse and couldn’t afford to spend much.  He purchased a horse that he loved, rode, groomed, fed and he spent a lot of time with the horse.  Three months later the horse passed away and the little boy was very sad.  His veterinarian spoke these words to the boy. “You loved and rode the horse, groomed it, fed, and spent a lot of time with the horse.  That horse may have died in a pasture all alone.”

This story stays near and dear to my heart and reminds me of the importance of why I work in this field.  Assisted Living allows seniors to live with dignity, pride and respect in a home like setting. 

I spoke with a few of the residents that live here about death and their responses were very similar.  The fear of death is not there, they have seen and done so much in life.  They felt life has been good to them and are thankful to have a roof over their head, a bed to sleep in, food, and good cares.  Although they don’t like to think about it is important that they come to terms with their own death.  It will help to ease their own fears and enable them to offer peace and comfort to those struggling with their death.  Maybe it’s a cliche that when faced with death, life seems to be all the more precious.  

Death is something we all must face.  It happens to all living things; from living plants, animals, to people.  As hard and unfair as it may seem, everything that is alive now will pass someday.  

‘I shall die of having lived.

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